Tuesday, November 30, 2010

you think you know... but do you?


dude... 
plenty of young gay men, more than 20% of gay men under 25, even now, some 29 years into the hiv/a.i.d.s epidemic, dont know their own status, dont believe they are at risk for the virus, dont know the status of their sexual partners, dont ask, and figure that if the guy was sick, i could tell... he answered my craigslist ad, where i specified d n d (drug and disease) free so he must be clean... most guys on the down low, men who have sex with men but dont identify as gay, dont know their hiv status and often dont think they're at risk cause their "not gay"... or wont get tested because going to a clinic, or to the family doctor to get an hiv test is a dead give away that you're having sex with men...

my conversations with guys, especially guys in their mid 20s to early 30s, leads me to believe that there is a lot of denial and self delusion out there... their behavior belies their status... claiming that their clean and freaking out when the dude theyre with discloses that he is hiv+; that they'd never been with anyone positive before, but just 30 seconds ago, they were willing to bareback flip fuck.. and even wanting to or getting high before play... if thats their m.o., their prolly positive and just dont know it....
they based their choice of sex partners on among other things, a false assumption; are they guilty of a crime if they pass the virus on, not knowing their status even though they engage in risky behavior with other dudes who are positive or who don't even know their own status either?

consenting adults, both hiv+ and not, and not knowing, have to be responsible for their own sexual health and safety... i think we have a responsibility to each other to full disclosure as well.. and i think that intent and mental state are mitigating factors in the decision to file criminal charges against someone who is hiv+ and doesnt disclose... its complicated... are drugs involved? what about shame? the lost, sick, lonely pariah feeling you get when you disclose and the dude you're with freaks out and flees... after a few times, it might just feel easier to say nothing, and assume that the dude assumes you are... positive.. or to omit that detail, and only come clean when asked.... even if thats after you cum up his ass...

you think you know, but do you?
do you?


~ cheers... david


Sunday, November 28, 2010

how to make art....


dude...
to all my friends who make art....


lmfao!!!!

~ cheers.... david



ps... re-blogged from jasper's boy, where it was re-blogged from somewhere else....
its turtles all the way down.....


Sunday, November 7, 2010

the sweet smell of lavender....



dude...

i never take the time to smell the flowers at the market...
today though, i did... english lavender....

i saw a ghost today... i was riding my bike home from trader joes...
in the parking lot, i saw a woman... a tall beautiful woman.. a familiar face... and she saw me... instant recognition... couldnt be...
i looked back as i rode by, so did she... i looked again... she looked again.. not a flirty come hither look, but a look that said i love you my friend... ive missed seeing you...
i rode around the pkg lot to get a better look... she was gone... i looked around, dumbfounded... stopped pedaling n everything... she was nowhere...
i could still smell the fading scent of the lavender plants that trader joes sells...
i saw my friend l.s. today.... she loved english lavender... l.s. is the only person i ever trusted... i miss you everyday....
you made me a better person...

boys. dont. cry.

thanks for looking back.. twice...

cheers.... david





Wednesday, November 3, 2010

this stupid country...


dude...

we are the last ones... well, except for the trannys, the last persons in america to realize our constitutional rights, our civil rights, hell our basic human rights... all this bullshit hand wringing over dont ask dont tell, gay marriage, the employment non-discrimination act, the gay agenda.... none of this would be happening if we were talking about the denial of any of these god given rights under law because of race, gender, religion, national origins, skin color, age, disability, or even criminal records... and its hush hush if tweens n teens get bullied in school or on the play ground, in the locker room, in church, at home or on-line for being different, queer, moody, aspie, outcast.... its only after they take their own lives that anyone pays attention.. all this talking talking talking then shouting and shouting more louder and nothing ever changes...epic fail..


gay teens are still committing suicide and in ever greater numbers... the republican candidate for governor of new york makes disparaging [hateful] statements about gays in the midst of a national crisis maybe 1 day after prolly gay college student tyler clementi jumped off the george washington bridge because he just couldnt take it any more.. hateful hurtful remarks for political purposes.. fail..


the president of the united states decrying d.a.d.t., threatening its demise on his watch, and promptly seeks and receives injunctive relief when presented with a federal district judges ruling that ends the policy on constitutional grounds.. something this president, my president, couldnt or wouldnt do... executive order? hello.. commander-in-chief much? fail..


i am disappointed with my president.. the first word that comes to mind to sum up his first 2 years in office is... wuss... as for the majority leader in the senate... lame... duck? prolly... if not... an empty suit... looking for leadership in the senate is like running to the bridge of the andrea doria as it is capsizing looking for the captain and executive officers only to find instead the looney tunes cast... th-th-th-thats all folks!! and the madam speaker of the house of representatives.... well, it begins with a "c".... i hope mr. senate majority leader gets his ass handed to him on election day... fail...


and dont get me started on the undecided independent voters... lurching back-n-forth between dumb and dumber ever two years.... republicans!, no, democrats!, no, republicans, no democ trails off.... tax breaks for the rich, for corporations!! no new taxes - for anyone!! national health service is communism... now where the hell is my medicare? and now from fox noise.. the tea party... a political third rail or third way? more like the know nothing party of the mid-to-late 19th century... whack jobs if you ask me... then and now..

how about a tea dance instead..... im just sayin...


i blame society... and the media.. politics is show business for awkward ugly people... people that were unfortunate dorks in high school... its revenge of the nerds only now with money and power and control... and what pretends to be journalism, especially on tv and am talk radio in this the 21st century, is what happens to people whose parents didnt pay enough attention to them as children.. fail..


did i ever tell you how much i miss the cold war? idk, life was simpler then knowing we could all be vaporized at any time with as little as 20 minutes notice... hahaha!

is it weird that all too often i really hope high five kills me soon cause i can see the future and i really dont want to live in it?


sigh... it really does get better.. im just not feeling it today...


cheers... david