in this scene: after closing down barts t-shirt stand, chief wiggum asked for an extra extra extra extra extra extra extra large shirt but realized the only one that was available in his size said "proud nubian princess."
prolly should have started the blog off with this....
- cheers... david
dude...
k, ive been thinking a little about our chat.... breaking up with me on skype chat, not voice or cam or face to face but on chat..... lame...
i asked you once if you were in love with me, you said yes, you were... i told you that i could be in love with you... big difference... i think maybe you failed to fully grasp that i was never as in love with you.. at least not as much as your were with me, and certainly not now... i wanted to be, i tried to be... i failed to be... i failed, again.. epic fail...
many times you said, out loud, you wanted to care for me, whatever that means... you wanted, apparently, happily ever after, without having to actly be here for the ever after... you really are childish and dramatic and selfish and angry and vindictive.. youre blaming me for your broken heart, for your embarrassment, your foolishness... i really dont care why you chose to end any romantic feelings you had for me, or why you felt that you were flying solo in this relationship... i mean i understand why you felt that way, but i it was enough for me to just move on and be friends... whatever that might have meant or been... thanks for dragging me through your hurt feelings, i really enjoyed that... i hope you feel better.... oh, and thanks for the lecture too... monseigneur... thats it isnt it?
dude..
youre a priest.. k, studying to be, and i cant compete with that... or with jesus, or with your desire to be the savior of the world... i would always be a lesser priority.. jesuit or not, whatever your vocation or activist-deal-of-the-month is, it will always be the true focus of your life for as long as it lasts.. and so too with the next thing, and so on.. whoever loves you will need to realize that and be ok with never being first, only second or maybe third.... the priorities of my life are different, and yeah, you would never be the central focus of it... david is the most important person in davids life... as much as i sometimes try and want not to be... in this respect, we are too much alike to be different enough to be together... its not even about high five.. i was afraid that would be my dagger in your heart... nope.... when we were together i didnt even think about me being high five and you.... well, not...
k, and im a slacker... yup... i have no real goals or any direction in my life... hockey was it for me, and now thats really gone for good... and after 2008-09 its enough right now to just be alive and not living in a cardboard box....
will i try to spend time with you while you are here at the end of july? maybe.. maybe not.. ill prolly just keep my distance and stay as far away from you as possible.... and the rest...
its chinatown dude... its chinatown....
just walk away......
- cheers... david
dude...
its gay pride day! finally.. happy gay pride 2010! lots of sunshine and a really great park for the festival... oh yeah, and the pacific ocean breeze... $25 for the festival? wait, what? thats outrageous.... its a vendor fair... with a beer garden... and bad 80s headliners..
devo? really? devo? again? really? no really? prolly still gonna go though.. its gay pride day!
a while back, mads asked me on that formspring thing "what do i like most about being gay?"
heres my answer ....
casual sex.... k, seriously, the great people i have met along the way... the lifetime of experiences past and present that i might not otherwise have had if i were straight... friends that took me under their wings and really helped make my coming out bearable... friends who let me stay with them while i scrambled to find a place of my own, a full time job and safe place to just be gay after my father kicked me out.... friends who cared for me when i first got sick.. if i hadn't been gay, i would never have known, loved and tolly trusted my best friend l.s....
and some more....
i discovered that i was good at sports.. well, a sport... hockey... maybe it was cause i finally felt sort of comfortable in my own skin... i had dropped like 50 lbs and was going to the gym regularly.. bike riding long distances, like 50, 75, 100 mi mixed terrain trips.. even in mexico... [the libre from rosarito to ensenada is beautiful and fucking amazing as it snakes its way south along the unspoiled pacific coast of baja..]
some of my friends at transportation played street hockey after work like two or three days a week... i asked if i could join, and yes... turns out i was good at it... ice hockey too... i love the game, i miss playing it.... i dont think my hockey experiences would have been the same if i had been straight.. prolly better this way... im a team guy but not a superstar.. id wear the "a" before id ever consider wearing the "c"... actly, id prefer to not wear either letter.. im a quiet leader... a team guy now and forever.. occasionally i go a little crazy, who doesnt? did i forget to mention i have a temper?
my first gay pride day was in 1986.. it was a political event more than a giant fag party... but it was getting there.. what a rush, being transgressive as it were, outlaws.. misfits, deviants, unclean... sinners... i was as scared as i was thrilled to be there.. all those freaks n femmes n queers and lesbians too... what if someone recognizes me? they did and it was ok...
i volunteered at the parade a couple of years later... it rained, well sort of... it was hot n humid...
k, not so much....
actup came later.... silence = death... so did queer nation... gay boys make me hard... a refrigerator magnet i still have....
happy 2010 gay pride people.. 60 years since harry hay founded the mattachine society, 41 years after stonewall, and 30 years on from the first know case of hiv/aids in the united states...
ps...
met a really hoy guy from ottawa... oh canada!!!
i love gay pride weekend!
- cheers..... david
